


Anxiety

by reapersQuail



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: M/M, Near Death Experiences, Night Terrors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:50:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3923545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reapersQuail/pseuds/reapersQuail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alvin sighed. He was cursed. He didn't know if it was good or bad, but he was cursed alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anxiety

It felt like he was falling, falling deeper into the water below. He could watch the bubbles rise next to his arms as he struggles for air. It was terrifying, and yet, somehow peaceful. Something was wrong, he felt wrong. Nothing about this felt right. It was all wrong.

He gasped once more, feeling the water fill his lungs as the bubbles escaped and floated upwards.

Panic flew through his mind as he gaped for air, getting nothing but more water.

Heady panic as he felt his vision grow dark, the water around him a distasteful aura of colours as he kicked his legs, trying to do something. Nothing happened, and he felt himself being dragged, pulled deeper down under the water.

One last gasp and he couldn't see anything anymore, only hear the muffled water around him as he felt himself being pulled deeper and deeper.

He next awoke with a start. Breath heavy with panic.

Where? What? Oh.

He was fine. No water, he could breathe. He grabbed his hands and held them close. He hurt, and this was something that he hated, it was unacceptable.

He let his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. The familiar hotel room that he had checked into last night with everyone else. He looked down and next to himself and reached out to grab the small hand that sat there.

He hesitated for a second.

You can't do that. That's not....You shouldn't bother anyone else with this...

He pulled his hand back, setting a hand back on his chest to steady his breathing. Why was he still breathing unsteadily? The terror had passed, so...why?

Alvin?

He looked over.

Jude was staring at him, half awake.

Shit, he woke him up. This was not okay.

Go back to sleep, there isn't anything to worry about.

Are you okay?

Y-yeah.

He took a breath.

Just fine.

Jude sat up, rubbing his eyes.

Alvin, what's wrong.

He sounded serious. The kid had known him for a while now, so maybe he was starting to pick up on those small cues...He hoped not.

Just a bad dream, nothing to worry about.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Jude reached out and grabbed one of his hands, squeezing it.

It's okay. I'm here.

Alvin let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

He couldn't deny it, this was a small comfort after that.

If...If it happens again...I'll be here.

He could see Jude smile in the dark, even as he looked away a little.

What?

Jude was too kind for his own good. Everything he did was for someone else, everything. He shouldn't be surprised that Jude would say this, hell, even Milla saying something like this shouldn't come as a surprise either. Do-gooder Jude had struck again. Maybe that was the reason that he liked Jude so much. Because he was so astronomically different from himself, something that he felt he needed, something that he felt he could never be. Not now, maybe never.

I. I appreciate it.

He responded so quietly he could barely hear himself.

You shouldn't...You don't have to. I can-

It's fine. You need someone that you can rely on. You can have me.

He couldn't help but smile weakly at that. The kid's naivety was so charming, so cute. He probably didn't even realize what he was saying.

He squeezed Jude's hand, feeling the warmth, letting it calm his nerves.

Thanks kid.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he ran his thumb over Jude's knuckles.

This means a lot.

They both didn't talk for a short pause, sitting in silence as Alvin collected himself slowly.

He spoke up suddenly with a short but quiet laugh.

Maybe I'll tell you one day. Maybe you deserve to know. Maybe when I stop being such a-

Alvin. Just shut up and go back to sleep.

Ouch, harsh words from sweet Jude there.

He was feeling better enough to joke around.

Just go to sleep.

Jude flopped back to go to sleep as well, still holding Alvin's hand.

Alvin sighed. He was cursed. He didn't know if it was good or bad, but he was cursed alright.

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this a while ago intending it to be a small series of things, i might yet make it that, but then they would all be unrelated.  
> It's been quite some time since i have flexed my writing muscles, I mean, I wrote this when i only had a tablet on me.  
> I also wanted to experiment more or less with no extra punctuation. whether it worked or not, i have no idea, but i did have fun with it. its not my usual writing style, but then again, i dont have much of a profile yet.


End file.
